[If You Wish It] Part 4

Another week of quarantine. Nothing new on the quarantine front, so I have quite a bit of time for translations. And since it's my brother's birthday today, have a translation to celebrate!

This part is pretty short, seeing as it's basically an interlude between scenes with Kirito and Eugeo chilling in their room with cake talks... and Kirito desperately trying to weasel his way out of his own screwups, like usual. Meanwhile, Eugeo's disses are fabulous as always, Kawahara sneaked in a canon reference with Bercouli and, ara ara, Charlotte turns out to be a spider of culture. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

-Gsimenas

Credits

Raws: Celest
Translation: Gsimenas
Editing: Gsimenas
Proofreading: JengKay


Translation (choice/nuance) comments:
  • Aside from instances where actual system commands are recited, Sacred Arts elements are almost always referred to with Japanese expressions (kanji), rather than English words. Since the Japanese kanji terms aren't as sophisticated as the English variants, I translated the element names literally when they are mentioned in actual Japanese. For example, the "cryogenic" element is called the "freezing element" (凍素) outside of commands.
  • In the "dear friend" instance, Kirito went semi-grandiose by using the phrase 友よ (tomo yo), which is a rather exaggerated/archaic way to refer to one's friend.

Markup explanation:
  • Itallics mark text that was written in katakana English (I only highlighted the cases where the author uses both English and actual Japanese equivalents for the same thing, or when I needed to emphasise that an English word is used there).
  • In one instance, a certain Japanese idiom itself becomes the topic of attention, but the nuance is lost in translation; in this case, the furigana should be understood as such: #Meaning or Japanese word#(What was actually said).
  • Single quotation marks (') are quotes that weren't in the original text but were added for the convenience of English speakers to mark implied quotations. I used it mostly to separate Kirito's internal monologue from his narration, as well as mark sound effects and so on. Actual dialogue lines or quotations (with 「」 punctuation marks) within a narration line are indicated with the usual double (") quotation marks.




4


4 PM.

Having returned to our personal room after we finished taste-testing our 1Xth baked cheesecake experiment (and our first actually successful entry of them) and preparing for tomorrow, Eugeo and I collapsed onto the sofa just like yesterday.

Half of our bottled-up fatigue originated from the physical exhaustion due to our morning practice and afternoon cake baking, but the other half originated from mental stress. After all, Bercouli Synthesis One used the excuse "It would've still been a little half-baked if I hadn't accurately counted the time for ya" to force himself on us and take part in the taste-testing, during which he ate four out of eight slices of the cheesecake.

Even as he heartily chowed down on the cake with his fork, the Knight Commander's aura didn't weaken one bit, forcing me to be tense throughout the encounter. No matter how I looked at him, he didn't feel like a bad guy; on the contrary, I do believe he seemed like a supremely trustworthy superior, yet I wasn't mentally resilient enough to be capable of relaxing entirely beside a guy who was so powerful that he could slice my head off with his sword in a flash if he felt like it.

Although Eugeo appeared to be suffering from just as much mental fatigue himself, his reason for the fatigue is probably slightly different from mine. Turning my head slightly to the side, I enquired in a hoarse voice.

"……Eugeo, in the end, you never did ask Knight Commander Bercouli about the fairy-tale behind the Blue Rose Sword."

Just then, my partner gave a mild nod with a sway of his flaxen hair, before replying.

"Yeah… because after all those talks during our taste-testing, I sensed that the Knight Commander had had his memories of the past sealed away through the 《Synthesis Ritual》, just like Alice…… I thought that it would have been awfully cruel to talk about the past with a person like that; besides, when I considered the fact that I was eating sweets at the same table as the hero from the fairy tale that I had been told numerous times since my childhood, it just kinda overwhelmed me……"

"Oh, well, good thing we didn't get stuck fighting him then."

When I responded as such, Eugeo gave a feeble, strained smile

"True that. All that time, I was worried sick that you, Kirito, would screw something up again, just like with Volo-sempai, and we'd be pitted against him."

"If that were to happen, you'd be stuck #in the same boat#(ichi-ren-taku-shou), ya hear."

——'Whoops, #《一蓮托生》#(ichi-ren-taku-shou) is a four kanji idiom that originates from Buddhism, so I guess he didn't quite catch that?', but just when that thought went through my mind, Eugeo exaggeratedly shook his head with a displeased expression.

"Oh heavens no, I'd leave it all to you, Kirito. Though……it's great that the Knight Commander is a nice guy despite looking scary. He did seem to enjoy the taste of the cheesecake as he ate it."

"An entire four slices, at that. Even Alice's expression clearly implied that she wanted another helping; I wonder, are all the Integrity Knights such gluttons?"

"That's not the case here."

The reply came from Charlotte, who had moved over to the low table in front of the sofa at some point. Although she had changed into her onee-san form during the taste-testing to eat some cake, she was now back to her small black spider form.

Once she hopped over to the ink bottle on the table, Charlotte went all the way up to the top of the lid, before continuing her speech.

"Since the senior Integrity Knights have served for tens of years, while the oldest of them have even served hundreds of years, they're all sick and tired of food. Though the Cathedral's cooks are masters of their trade in the Human Empire, the menu variety is still limited, you see…… No matter how delicious the food is, you'd have a hard time eating the same thing for hundreds of years, wouldn't you? Though Alice probably isn't yet like that since it's only been several years since she became a knight, people like Bercouli and Vice Commander Fanatio, on the other hand, ought to be only eating the bare minimum necessary to sustain their Life."

"Eeeh, can you really do get tired of it……"

I ended up exchanging a glance with Eugeo subconsciously. Even my partner had an expression on him that implied he didn't quite agree with the idea, as he objected to Charlotte's conclusion.

"We've been having meals at the dining hall on the tenth floor every day, but all the foodstuffs offered there are really delicious, you know? I can't believe anyone would get sick and tired of eating any of it, even if they did eat it for hundreds of years……"

"Huhu, would you be able to say the same thing after a hundred years, I wonder."

Now that she mentioned it, I don't have all that much confidence in myself; though, in order to actually live over a hundred years in this world, we'd have to get the Supreme Priest to conduct the 《Synthesis Ritual》 on us. If the price for perpetual youth and longevity is losing all my memories of the past, I'd have to give that prospect a flat no thanks. Besides, it's not even clear whether a living-and-breathing example of an actual Fluctlight diving in through the STL, rather than an Artificial Fluctlight, could even be synthesised at all.

As I was considering such things, I finally discerned the meaning of the phrase 《Summoned Knight》 that Alice had spoken of. Knights proper like her and the others were led to believe that they were beings summoned from the Celestial World or whatever they call it, rather than humans born in the Human Empire. Surprisingly, this may actually be where the reason why they get sick and tired of their food lies.

As I continued brooding over such thoughts, Eugeo voiced yet another question.

"But Charlotte-san, you do know that Knight Commander Bercouli ate a whole four slices of the cheesecake, right?"

"That's because it was his first time eating the cheesecake that you both made. Of course, he probably did take quite a liking to its taste too."

"Hmnmn…… hold on……"

Reclining on the sofa's backrest, I folded my arms as I wondered, partly to myself.

"The Human Empire's cuisine is filled with elaborate delicacies, including appetisers, soups, meat, and fish dishes, so why is it that the dess…… sweets are all so plain and lack variety? The cakes are basically just buns, while all the pies and tarts only have butter cream or fruit fillings, oh and there's also something like biscuits, I guess. I know that sugar is a valuable commodity, but it's not that expensive that the general populace wouldn't be able to afford it at all, after all……"

After bringing up all those thoughts of mine, I began panicking that I didn't sound very Underworlder-ish with my concerns. Sure enough, Eugeo began giving me a suspicious look as he tilted his head while boring into me.

"Kirito, don't you have a large variety of cakes in your hometown? If that weren't the case, how would you know the recipes for shortcakes and cheesecakes?"

"Oh…… yeah, I had them in my hometown, probably. But I just thought, 'it sure is strange that Centoria doesn't have any.'"

Even I myself thought that my attempt at explaining my way out of the situation wasn't going quite well and it didn't seem like Eugeo, the guy who wears his honesty on his sleeve, was buying it right away either. "Hmmn……?", as my partner gave me a doubtful look, I was considering how I could coax him, when Charlotte unexpectedly threw me a lifebuoy.

"That's because fresh cream didn't exist until you discovered how to produce it, Kirito. Butter cream has too much fat in it, so if you'll have stomach problems if you use it in great quantities.……. Cardinal-sama has also tried devising various sweets made with butter cream; the one where she mixed it with raisins soaked in rum and then stuff it between biscuits was her finest piece of work."

"Ho-hoh……"

'Isn't that what you'd call rum raisin? I'm gonna have to pester her for some the next time I go to the Library Room', with that resolution in my mind, I followed up on the topic.

"Though, making fresh cream wasn't all that hard either. It's strange that nobody discovered it in hundreds of years."

"That's because milk loses its taste if you freeze it even once."

Hearing Eugeo jumping aboard the topic, I felt my chest relax in relief on the inside.

"The people in Rulid would take care not to let any of their milk freeze up in midwinter, so nobody would have even considered trying to intentionally freeze any of it. What's more, it's forbidden to abuse Sacred Arts, you see…… No normal person would have thought of intensely mixing milk while keeping a freezing element inside of it and then straining it once it's turned sleety."

"Everything's a challenge waiting to happen, dear friend."

"How many times do you think we've had to suffer serious trouble because of such challenges…… ——Hey, hold on. Kirito, did you seriously forget how to make fresh cream, despite still remembering how to make shortcakes and cheesecakes?"

"Oh…… yeah, guess so. The God of Darkness Vector sure deals in some weird pranks, huh."

Forcefully weaseling my way out, I stood up straight.

"Now then, let's make this the day we finally go over to the Grand Bath while the Elevating Operator is still working. Charlotte, counting on you to look after things while we're gone."

"Oh my, I'm going too. Cardinal-sama has ordered me not to leave your side even for a moment, after all."

At the black spider's reply, I froze up for a moment.

"……But wait, it's men's bathing time right now……"

"That rule doesn't apply to spiders."

Replying as such, Charlotte jumped over to my body from the ink jar and slipped into the back of my collar.

"…………"

Once I exchanged a glance with Eugeo in silence and both of us shrugged our shoulders in unison, we left the room to cure our bottled up fatigue.


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